So....today I told the guy I like that I like him. Here's what I said:
"Can I tell you something? It's about us - I know you must have realized it by now, that I really like hanging out with you, I enjoy spending time with you, and that I like you...a lot. I know you're not looking for anything though, and that you don't want to start anything long distance, so I don't want you to feel pressured or anything, and I've decided to move on. I'm going to friend zone you, and we'll be cool as friends."
Then he said exactly what I expected - he's not looking for anything at this time. And if we hadn't met at this time, where he knows he's moving away to London, then maybe we can be possible. And I said gosh the right person but wrong time excuse!!
He also said that I'm a really cool person and that he really likes hanging out with me, and that he's sorry if he was sending mixed signals because he might have been doing that.
I said yeah I hate the uncertainty where we send mixed signals and lead each other on, I'd rather be upfront about it and honest with each other, and that's how we can be good friends. And I also mentioned that his friend was kind of sending signals to me but I figured the friend's just trying to matchmake us, not because he told the friend something about me...
When I said this: "Honestly, I've never felt happier with any other guy, not even with my previous bf", he went Aww and gave me a hug of sorts haha, and said he was very flattered.
Then I said , "I really don't want to let you go. But I'm going to let you go. And yes the friendzone does exist hahaha!!" He laughed at that :)
I reiterated that I don't want him to feel pressured, and that we can hang out some more as cool friends. I really don't want him to feel burdened by me liking him, especially when it's clear he likes me but definitely not enough to want to date me (esp not with the long distance!!)
I also told him that if I'm coming on too strong or anything, definitely let me know! Hahaha
So that's my first step to being a full fledged grown up, adult, someone who actually is upfront with her feelings and being really cool about it. Even I'm proud of myself for doing it, even though the delivery could be wayyy improved haha. I was so nervous that I just couldn't find the right time or opportunity to say it, and I kept wanting to chicken out or procrastinate it further! But I created the opportunity for it by asking him to walk with me to the bart/muni, and when I realised we were getting close I absolutely had to say it then!! So I did. I blundered through it and was kind of awkward (hopefully cute/funny awkward) but I warmed up to my lines. Thank goodness I've practiced these lines a few times beforehand so I don't screw them up hahaha.
And now, I truly feel liberated and relieved. I finally know exactly how he feels, no more second guessing or being tortured by mixed signals or being annoyed or frustrated by his lack of advancement. I've taken control of this relationship dynamic and now, I can truly move on and be friends with him. This is such a great learning experience for me haha. I'm super excited for the new me and for the upcoming days ahead!!!
P.s. And yes we made plans for dinner next week, and potentially brunch tmr...I probably will say no to brunch and I won't even bat an eyelid about it hahahaha! Because now I know that he likes me for who I am, as a friend with no expectations. So he's been asking me out because we are friends, and he won't stop asking me out just because he's "lost interest" in me the way other guys would when they like me. This means I can legitly hang out with him without any pressure yo!!
