It's my birthday tomorrow, but because it's a work day and I'll be traveling for work (and will probably be working late fixing that big presentation...), I ended up celebrating all weekend with my friends. We started off on Friday with a michelin star japanese restaurant called Ju-ni (meaning 12 in japanese), then bar-hopping/clubbing after that. This is mainly because of a friend visiting from Atlanta, so we wanted to take her out and have fun in SF while celebrating my birthday.
I haven't gone clubbing in a year (since my birthday last year), guess now it really is an annual occurrence lol. I had such an amazing time though, it was a real great confidence booster! I walked in the door and within 2 seconds this guy came and talked to me. and the trend continued...one after another, I ended up getting 搭讪 by 8 different guys that night! I also got to dance, get free drinks, and really let go of myself the way I don't do anymore...it really made me feel carefree and young and like a child again. This weekend, I let loose a lot more than I usually do, which made me realise how uptight and "old" I've become now. I don't like drinking, or going out, or doing crazy things anymore. I don't jump around laughing because I feel happy, or dance on the streets, or sing at the top of my voice just because. And this weekend I did all of the above and more hahaha.
On Saturday, I went to a cosplay festival (my first one in sf) - again another nostalgic thing from my past-life. I had associated it with a waste of time (which is what my dad thinks), and as a responsible adult I shouldn't be wasting time on that, but going made me feel happy and young again. Brought back all the happy memories of my youth indulging in anime, jpop, going to cosplay events and hanging out with my japanese club friends.
Am I becoming more like my dad, like adults who just judge everything that people do, especially if it's someone different from you, doing something you don't agree with? I wish I can retain a child-like heart while gaining maturity and wisdom. That's what I'm reflecting on this year, as I embark on the beginning of my late twenties - I want to keep my child-like trust and belief in the good of people, while being realistic and wise about the dangers/risks of the world. There is a constant pull of conflicting factors - do we live life like there's no tomorrow being risk-taking, or do we live life planning ahead for the future and being risk-averse? How do we balance being carefree and being responsible? How do we let loose while being in control? To what extent should we explore vs exploit?
Then Saturday evening I had dinner with my housemates (who so kindly treated me, thank you!). There was a problem with our reservation because we showed up late, and we had a person who was going to be another 30min late - to me it was our fault and it's natural that they had to let go of our table and we had to wait at least 45min for a table to open up. However my friends didn't agree with it since they had called ahead and let them know of the situation, and they said they could seat us as long as we ordered first. It became a point of contention with the restaurant manager, and I wanted to tell them hey just let it go, it is our fault and even if we could get seated and ordered first, we would still have to wait for the last guy anyway. Instead, we could just hang out in the area until that person arrived, then it's about time for a table to open up.
However that's not how they saw it, and they remained aggressive towards the restaurant manager. I saw how I didn't know how to intervene and deal with difficult situations when they're my friends - I didn't know how to go against them in a nice way, while protecting the interests of the restaurant. I was siding with the restaurant, but my friends were not seeing it that way as their expectations and trust were being betrayed. It definitely put a downer on the celebratory mood for the meal, but I also saw my shortcomings in this area. I need to learn how to step up and speak up for what I think is right in a sensitive and tactful manner, so I won't be hurting my friends...
After dinner, we went to catch a play called the "Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime". I read this book many years back, so I was excited to find out it's been made into a play! It's very interesting to see how they translated the thoughts and emotions and experiences of an autistic teen with information / sensory overload by using lighting, sounds and dance movements. There were digital panels on all walls of the stage projecting information and words and images that supported all these, and the technology use was amazing. They also broke the 4th wall by referring to the audience and to making a play out of his story - which was actually the play we're watching! I really enjoyed how they put the play together - definitely worth a watch. Oh and be sure to stay past the "end" credits because there will be additional 5min of acting after that xP
On Sunday, I went to napa valley with my friends and decided to wear my new flowery sundress! It's pretty and has an asymmetrical hem, and it made me feel confident, happy and like a celebrity haha. Clothing really can transform a person (emotionally, mentally, physically...). We went to 3 wineries - two of them are new to me but were recommended by friends, while one was my usual favorite winery I always go to. We did a few tastings, did a cave tour, and I bought a very nice bottle of Madeira! yumm...it shall last me for the rest of the year haha. Also, I helped out an elderly couple with directions to Livermore - my good deed of the day! And the cashier was kind to me too, he found out it's my birthday tomorrow and threw in a chocolate bar in my bag for free! Really, kindness is contagious - let's aim to help a person a day, or at least gift a smile to someone so this kindness would pass on.
It was today outside a winery that I danced, sang, jumped and laughed. I did some pretty crazy things not because of the wines (I wasn't tipsy because I poured away tastings I didn't finish), but rather I was so happy and in a good mood today. I have so many things to be grateful for - I'm alive and healthy, with a great job and career and income, I can afford to eat whatever I want and travel wherever, I am at the prime time of my life and can date whoever I want, I am young but have learned so much to know I need to learn more, and I had a great weekend and friends who are celebrating me! It's amazing really, and I wish I did that more. Embrace the joys of life that we should be grateful for.
