And here's why.
It's a historic moment - I'm the first female at our firm to be promoted to Senior Associate from entry-level analyst, and so quickly - in 4 years and 9 months. That means it only took me 2 years to be promoted from Associate to Senior Associate, and it usually takes most other people 3-5 years to be promoted, and even then, most don't get promoted. They stay at Associate for a long while and they leave before they get promoted, or they joined as an experienced hire as an Associate and don't get promoted.
And for context, it took me 2 years and 9 months to be promoted from Analyst to Associate, so this promotion is really fast in the career progression at our firm. It's amazing, fascinating, and unbelievable. I can't believe it.
This promotion is really just a title change though, since my compensation and bonus isn't really jumping that much (compared to Analyst to Associate), so it's more like a typical compensation increase from year to year.
As for why I feel under-qualified - a Senior Associate means a manager role. A lead role. I don't feel ready for either of that. I have no experience managing people, and I am doing my first lead role now which has only me myself and I, and already I constantly feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't have enough guidance, coaching or mentorship from others at my firm. I'm constantly trying to figure out what I need to do, and asking people stuff, and trying to delegate work where possible. I know I'll eventually figure it out, but how long do I need to fake it till I make it? I think it will take me at least another 2 years to figure out how to be a manager properly, and have some experience leading teams / projects with multiple people on it.
That leads me to the last point - my enormous guilt. I have been feeling jaded and burned out with my current role as a consultant, and didn't gain much pleasure or enjoyment from the work. I'm 5 years into consulting, which is much longer than others in the industry / in my company; most people leave after 2 or 3 years. I'm looking for a change, I want to try something different / new, and I want to work with consistent teams and focus on a product that I can push/grow, and I don't want to travel as much anymore. I have gotten used to being local and building a routine around it, with good sleep and dance classes and spending time with my bf.
Thus I have been reflecting on my work / life goals, and am trying to find ways to combine my passion with work. Based on my understanding of who I am, my personality type and interests, I enjoy volunteering and helping others be successful (whether it's getting into college, or getting that promotion at work). So I'm looking into doing something in the education space, or health and wellness (meditation? coaching?) space, maybe in tech. Eventually, I might want to become a coach, or a therapist, since I really enjoy helping other people and empowering others directly, and not so much helping rich companies get richer.
There is this Japanese concept of ikigai https://en.wikipedia.
But short of finding ikigai, I'm hoping to do something that's closer to a mission and passion that also makes $$. Also, my bf recommended this site to me, this might be helpful for you all in figuring out the right career path for you: https://80000hours.org/career-guide/
When should I really make the move then, now that I'm being re-affirmed in my current role?
