This year, I feel really loved, surrounded by a bunch of amazing people who care for me. They gave me cards, gifts, birthday cakes, took me out to dinner, and even put on the most public display of a birthday celebration I’ve ever had (and probably will ever have)! My friend played my favorite La La Land medley on the piano at the Flower Piano event at the botanical gardens, and proceeded to get everyone to sing a birthday song for me. I was embarrassed and stunned and happy at the same time! Definitely the most memorable birthday celebration ever.
I also feel infinitely lucky and grateful for all the people in my life today, whether they’ve celebrated my birthday or not. As I told a friend, birthdays don’t mean much to me - it’s just another day - but it’s a day for my friends to celebrate me if they want to, to commemorate our friendship and reaffirm their love for me. I’ve stopped feeling as embarrassed or self-conscious about it, and started recognizing it as a day for people to do something special for me. If it makes everyone happy, why should I make things awkward by being shy about it? To me, the best way to thank my friends and show my appreciation is to enjoy the moment and be happy with the attention.
I also thanked my mum on my birthday, because this is the day she suffered the most while giving birth to me, all those years ago. Thank you mummy, if not for you and all your sacrifices, I wouldn’t be here today.
I’ve been having a really hectic life these days, with barely any time to catch a breather for myself. I’m perennially sleep-deprived, and somehow keeping up work and friends and social life and family and dating is becoming a tough juggling act. Oh and not forgetting my goal of reading 2.5 books a month, and volunteering and writing cloud articles and recruiting and everything else...I’ll really need to prioritize things in my life so I won’t get burned out. I think it’s also because it’s been a year since I last took a proper vacation, so I’m starting to feel the strain of life on me.
I was reading more of Tiny Beautiful Things, and found this quote to be so true for me. It’s been resonating with me and I thought I’d share it as part of my birthday thoughts:
What do you do when you don’t know what to do about something?
I talk to Mr Sugar and my friends. I make lists. I attempt to analyze the situation from the perspective of my “best” self — the one that’s generous, reasonable, forgiving, bighearted, and grateful. I think really hard about what I’ll wish I did a year from now. I map out the consequences of the various actions I could take. I ask what my motivations are, whst my desires are, what my fears are, what I have to lose, and what I have to gain. I move toward the light, even if it’s a hard direction in which to move. I trust myself. I keep the faith. I mess up sometimes.
