paris lost ):

ahhh...paris lost the bid to host 2012 olympics!!! i am devastated! sigh...all hopes of going to paris for olympics is dashed. but, on the other hand, at least paris managed to avoid having a terrorist attack. London is really pitiful, six bombings all in the same day! oh dear...all those poor innocent people hurt and dying, it makes my heart ache just seeing them on the news.

i wonder if anyone my father or brother knows is hurt over there.

anyway, there has been quite a lot of stuff to do, and i still have to finish my geog pt, and there is a history sa coming up, and a lit fa, as well as the lit sa next next week. and of course track i wish everyone good luck for track nationals! esp chew min, who got into the semi finals for 100m! it's tmr though...GOOD LUCK! BONNE CHANCE!

haha well, i didn't feel quite happy ytd...in fact, i broke out at my father. poor father, im really sorry. i didn't mean to be so horrible and mean, yelling at u and shouting at you like that. i was in a really bad mood to begin with, and my father actually went through all my homework AGAIN. i told him not to b4, and yet...and then he interrupted me in the middle of my work, and i was really upset. and i simply wanted him to leave me alone for a while and give me some peace to do my stuff, but the more i asked him to go, the more he refused.

i guess he's juz like me, he's juz as stubborn as i am.

it was bad. i feel really bad. one part of my mind was asking me to simply listen to him and say yes yes yes and then he will leave after that. but the other part, the one i listened to, it was very impatient and made me pour out all the anger and moodiness and all the upsetting feelings i had. i simply said what i was thinking at that time. "please leave me alone!" although there were times where i said this rather calmly, he refused to go, and wanted to know what is wrong. he wasn't even scolding me, why was i so angry?

i was angry because he didn't follow what i said, and leave me alone at peace.

and then during dinner, he told me to control my anger and stuff like that. i was really upset. and i can't help it. im still young, i still have a long way to learn how to control my anger and curb it. i just can't calm myself down the right way when im really angry. sigh.

now i have yet another weakness i can add to the long list of weaknesses. hotheadedness.

at least i can say i have some conscience and i felt very very very sorry afterwards. when i was extremely calmed. and i forgot loads of what i said and what he said. that's how i am. i always forget upsetting stuff after a while. but i rmb parts of upsetting stuff too. the impt parts, the gist of them, and they stay with me forever. i have nailed a hole inside my father's heart. no matter how i try to make up for it, there will always be a hole there.

i am really sorry. really sorry.

but there's nothing i can do now. it is all because of my pride, and dignity, and i refused to say sorry. all i can do now is just be as nice to my father as possible. he may be gone any moment, for all i noe, and i really should be nice to him while i still can. you never know when you can just lose people. i always keep in mind to be nice to my father, but i just always forget. why is it that difficult to rmb? i've got to rmb. before it's too late for me to regret.

anw, rgs open house coming up. i have to perform some chinese song for the keyboard music. all because of lc and yinfei larh! they refused to play it and insisted on singing instead. they KNEW i loveeee singing! humph. nvm. lc better rmb to bring the music score. i have to start learning it. i have a piano concert on 24th july. coming up soon! and im playing a duet with celeste -again. yes again- i believe we have a lot of mo qi, and we play well with each other! and she's really nice to be with. yep.

and my birthday is almost here! it's on 17th july, this sunday! -hinthint- it's a very obvious hint indeed. but oh well. im rather narcissistic after all. and yeah, i don't noe what i want. a mp3? but that's really ex and no one will be willing to buy me one anyway, so forget it. it's too ex. money? haha juz joking. er...i noe blaws is giving me raisins. >.< i want books! anything lah. what matters is your sincerity and thought. haha

i wish my bro will give me something for my birthday. bcos im giving him one, -but he doesn't noe that-, and he nv gave me a birthday pressie b4! -neither have i- i shall see. but he says he will purposely forget my birthday. so that's quite hopeless lah. but he's given me quite some things b4 alrd. im really grateful to him. as in he didn't give them to me on purpose, but he gave them without thought. but im really grateful lah. he'a really a nice person.

i shall read many books. hope rgs win the blogging championships. vote ppl! sms "vote nibc pos" to 96183799, and each sms is charged at the regular charges. thx! ^^