I'm halfway through this book a friend recommended me called "The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane" by Lisa See, and I love it so far! It's been a long while since I was last so entranced, enchanted and engrossed by a book that I can hardly put it down. It's a story about an Akha girl growing up in a rural mountain village of Yunnan as a tea picker, and how she grows and transforms as she struggles against her hill tribe's traditions and superstitions. This is definitely refreshing, immersive and absolutely thought provoking. It reminds me of my family's love for tea and what I know about the hill tribes (like A-mei! and other tribal minorities); it also reminds me of my extended family back in china and how globalization / industrialization has affected them. The romanized terms in the book are chinese words that I know, such as gaokao, pu-er, po-nay, etc so I feel an affinity towards the book whenever I see these words. The superstitions and traditions seem accurate and they provoke such stirring feelings in me as I read about them. It's the story-telling and the way it transports me into this rural setting that's really left an impact on me.
I love how her transformation over the years reminds me of my transformation as I left my home, went outside of my comfort zone and unlearned the traditions, superstitions and Asian way of life/Asian mindset. Like me, she became westernized and modernized, and looked critically at superstitions that no longer made sense to her. Like me, she struggled against what she thinks is right vs what she's learned from her family/village is right, vs what the outside world is teaching her.
In the book, globalization and its impact on the village took place at a much faster rate than I'd expect (within 8 years! Is that how long it really took in China?) and hence felt a lot more shocking to me. I still don't know how the Akha villagers adapted so quickly and knew how to let go of their old ways and beliefs - they're surprisingly open minded for a group of close minded tribal folks - was it due to necessity and money? I know it happened too with my extended family in china, but they weren't as superstitious though. How much of this is reflected across rural china? How much of this is reflected in other insular and traditional societies across the world?
To what extent is this change good or bad? *Spoiler Alert* I'm glad they've stopped killing twins in the book, and I know that leaving and being different from the rest was seen as a shameful thing for her. However as the main character gained confidence, developed a sense of self identity and what she's looking for, she no longer cared as much about the Akha old ways that were only holding her back. Now her family/villagers celebrate her differences only because she's become successful, but they still insist that she gets married, as though marriage is the hallmark of success. I've seen that a lot too when I go home, the Asian belief that you have to be married to be happy.
The same beliefs that if I'm not married I'm unwanted and it's bad, that once I leave home I won't want to come back, that I have to abide by my family's rules and ways when I'm home. I feel the same way she does - frustration that your family can't accept you the way you are and trust your decisions as an intelligent and independent adult. They want to impose their beliefs and mindset on you, so they can be important in your life again. This has been and will continue to be a struggle for me - how can I adjust my self identity and still accommodate different beliefs back home, and how can I live happily in this combination of influences? How can I live with myself and with my family's mindset without offending anyone, without compromising my self?
I foresee some difficult conversations and tough decisions in my future; hopefully I'll be much better prepared for it when the time comes...
On a side note - I did my first "business" lunch of sorts today with a career officer at Stanford, discussing some opportunities for recruiting on campus this year. I'm really excited about it, and I feel grown up talking business over lunch on my own, without any other senior person taking charge. :D
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