Saturday, July 07, 2007

iNFj

Your Type is
INFJ
Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging
Strength of the preferences %
11 25 50 56

You are:
slightly expressed introvert
moderately expressed intuitive personality
moderately expressed feeling personality
moderately expressed judging personality

The Portrait of the Counselor Idealist (iNFj)

The Counselor Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in reaching their goals, and enterprising and attentive in their interpersonal roles. Counselors focus on human potentials, think in terms of ethical values, and come easily to decisions. The small number of this type (little more than 2 percent) is regrettable, since Counselors have an unusually strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others and genuinely enjoy helping their companions. Although Counsleors tend to be private, sensitive people, and are not generally visible leaders, they nevertheless work quite intensely with those close to them, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes with their families, friends, and colleagues. This type has great depth of personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people.

Counselors can be hard to get to know. They have an unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved and tend not to share their reactions except with those they trust. With their loved ones, certainly, Counselors are not reluctant to express their feelings, their face lighting up with the positive emotions, but darkening like a thunderhead with the negative. Indeed, because of their strong ability to take into themselves the feelings of others, Counselors can be hurt rather easily by those around them, which, perhaps, is one reason why they tend to be private people, mutely withdrawing from human contact. At the same time, friends who have known a Counselor for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that they are inconsistent; Counselors value their integrity a great deal, but they have intricately woven, mysterious personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.

Counselors have strong empathic abilities and can become aware of another's emotions or intentions -- good or evil -- even before that person is conscious of them. This "mind-reading" can take the form of feeling the hidden distress or illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult for other types to comprehend. Even Counselors can seldom tell how they came to penetrate others' feelings so keenly. Furthermore, the Counselor is most likely of all the types to demonstrate an ability to understand psychic phenomena and to have visions of human events, past, present, or future. What is known as ESP may well be exceptional intuitive ability-in both its forms, projection and introjection. Such supernormal intuition is found frequently in the Counselor, and can extend to people, things, and often events, taking the form of visions, episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual images of things to come, as well as uncanny communications with certain individuals at a distance.


Mohandas Gandhi and Eleanor Roosevelt are examples of the Counselor Idealist (INFJ).

More information about INFJs here.

if you want to try and see what your personality type is, try this website!
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

I just love Astronomy!!!

D-C-B-A-F-G-E!
Tele-S-C-O-P-E!
Messier, IC, NGC!
Oh Be A Fine Guy Ki-ss Me!
86164 per spin!
I just love Astronomy!!!

interesting 7-beat rhyming Astro chant created by kb. haha now everyone is using it as their nick? not bad lah hor quite catchy...

live earth day today! 070707 so wear green and save the earth! reduce, reuse and recycle!

liar game is a really nice j-drama. you ppl should watch.

plus sleeping early is good! -advocates early sleep- don't understand why guys like to sleep late (most of them at least) even when it isn't necessary. and then they sleep during lessons and miss out all the impt stuff. it's totally warped, the sleeping cycles. it will become a habit and stick! (which is BADDD)

feeling: randomness. music: crucify my love by x-japan

Friday, June 29, 2007

ishi's dead

hey guess what? i just saw the newspaper and ishi's dead!? yes the guy from superband, in the band, soul, teaches dance and all and jes sie loves him etc etc...

he's my bro's friend too. to think my bro just talked to him last week. ishi mentioned he wanted to commit suicide and stuff but i mean, if he's talking about it surely he'll be FINE RIGHT? i totally can't believe he actually went and did it.

WHO KILLS THEMSELVES OVER RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS? totally wasted. bright future ahead, 26 years old, diploma in sound mixing-engineering, great job at dancing, plenty of fans and shuai4 enough for many girls to want to be his gf (jes sie's one) and he's got plenty of stuff to do!

sigh. so wasted?

life is so fragile? so easily gone? like that? why would one want to die just like that? i mean i thought of dying and all b4 but in the end there was always something holding me back, holding me to life. to think he actually survived 26 years just to give up like that? like WHAT THE?!^$%@@

i don't believe it!

now i know how it feels to have someone u know dead. sudden shock indeed.

p.s. i nv thought of carbon monoxide poisoning. it's rather cool and unique, but apparently quite the trend in japan for commiting suicide and stuff. well you ppl don't try it.

it's not worth killing yourselves over stuff that really can be solved. it's not worth the effort, not worth the time wasted on thinking about it, not worth your precious life. rmb, no matter what happens, there's always ppl you care about you, whether you know it or not. for one thing, i do. if you have any problems, talk about it, don't think you can solve it just by suicide. it's selfish, cowardly, useless. think of the brighter days ahead. think of me...

think of me, think of me fondly, when we say goodbye...

Friday, June 22, 2007

some quizzes

Your EQ is 147
50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.


wow? i totally nv expected so high? o.O

You Are In a Decent Mood

You aren't turning cartwheels, but you're having a pretty good day.

Some ups, some downs, but overall you're coming out ahead.

And who knows? Tomorrow could be even better!


kindof ok mood im in lah. so it's quite true ^^"

You Are Pretty Happy

You generally have a happy, fulfilling life.
But things could be a little better, and deep down, you know it.
Maybe you need more supportive friends or a more challenging career.
Something is preventing you from being totally happy. You just need to figure out what it is!


what's bothering me? stress, life, school, the feeling of imsodead. sigh.

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.
Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.
While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.
Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.


i feel flattered.

You Can Make 53% of Your Crushes Fall in Love With You

You certainly have this dating thing down - and you know how to charm most people.
And when your charm seems broken, just think back to what has worked in the past.
You have the tools to make almost anyone fall in love with you - you just have to put them into action.


ha.ha.ha. i haven't had crushes for ages, if not i can actually go and try it out. ha.ha.

Cancer - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on
A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows
You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with

Your negative traits:

Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner
You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult
It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down.

Your ideal partner:

Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply
Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family
Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt!

Your dating style:

Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another.

Your seduction style:

Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship.
Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild.
Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac.

Tips for the future:

Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you.
Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing.
Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first.

Best color to attract mate: Aqua

Best day for a date: Wednesday


eew. "Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac."?!! -shakes head in disbelief-

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

NTU-NUS Astrochallenge 2007

actually I didn't really want to blog about astrochallenge but well, considering that it is a very impt event in my life and probably will stay as one of my unforgettable memories, I think it's significant enough to be left in the pages of this blog. (u noe, metaphorically)

ahh where do we start?

ok we'll start from Friday. day 1, it was quite ok, the mcq was really hard >.< (as compared to NYP) I had to leave 8 blank bcos I had no idea how to do them at all and im bound to get them wrong and have marks deducted yepp. the rest I think I had quite a number of wrongs. heh I was quite certain I'll get negative marks, but in the end the guy said our mcq scores were quite high (i couldn't believe it at all!) . data response ok lah there was pro gl and blaws doing all those calculations and drawing the graphs (: and so I think it was quite good. ^^ esp the 200 mark question (which hci didn't really do as I heard)

surprise round was NOT fun at all. super boring, everyone was dying with boredom and the questions are super chao1 ji2 difficult? (for lousy ppl like me lah) I was guessing all the answers bcos 50% chance of getting them right mah haha (but 50% of getting wrong too so haha whatever) it ended up quite good bcos there was this bp guy in my group and he answered like more than half the questions right. yepp so we ended up being second, just one station behind stacey's group!

project round umm...was hoping for better response from the judges but well we didn't get to finish our script and, u know, emphasise that it's an ALUMINIUM BLANKET COVERING which we very nicely wrapped for them to see in the middle as an example, and NOT glass. yeah it's just that we wanted them to see the interior so we didn't wrap the rest =P oh well kindof crappy. I wonder what the judges thought of it. not too bad I hope?

ah so on Friday we were convinced that we wouldn't get into the finals (b4 that we had a bit of hope) but since we saw the difficulty of all the qns of the first three rounds, we were freaked out and decidedly agreed that we had only 0.00000000000000001% of getting into finals (b4 that was 0.001% ^^". it would be more than a miracle. thus, all of us didn't mug at all! yeah so here comes the nasty surprise.

so I was settling myself comfortably into my seat to watch the other groups do the finals (I was really excited and hoping that both ri teams would be there to battle it out. it would be interesting mahh) and yeah talking to blaws about my balloon and random stuff when i caught "raffles girls school team 1" (literally caught, since I didn't really pay attention to the announcement). my first thought was: oh NO. we're SO DEAD.

yeah and I immediately prompted blaws to get calculator and pencil box and um waited for qw and bhu to defreeze from their shock and yeah trying to get over MY shock and disbelief and yes it was a pretty bad surprise. caught like that was not exactly nice... but at first I was really excited and thinking HEY WE GOT INTO FINALS! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! IT'S MORE THAN A MIRACLE! 0.00000000000000001% happened!!

in the end the finals got more and more boring and dreary and draggy and all. bcos we couldn't answer 99% of the questions and we didn't want points deducted. we were determined to keep our score above 0 and at least lose with a positive score =P um yeah the speed round was the worst! the music was irritating and distracting and pressurizing whatsoever and just getting on our nerves. esp the part that went BOM, BOM BOM, BOM, BOM BOM. T.T

we couldn't answer a lot of the questions and we had to guess. oh but I knew one question very well! just so happened that I studied constellations fervishly, so I knew that bootes is not part of Argo Navis ^^ that was easy. the rest was bad. a few the others knew lah, but esp the multiple answers ones we like got every one of them wrong? except for one I think... and all the calculation questions we got wrong T.T dunno what's wrong with the calculator or something but we were too nervous and stuff

luckily we still got a positive score of 13! (how unlucky)

as for buzzer round, we couldn't answer a lot of questions (or even if we could, we weren't sure so we didn't press the buzzer) the worst thing is, the questions we could answer (like 3 of them only?) we pressed but always RI or BP would have pressed first or something. I guess their fingers are glued to the buzzer T.T or their reflexes were faster or they were spamming the buzzer (this must be it). SIGH la. esp the 9 planets one it's so easy! and the speed of light thing! we could have answered those easily but for RI's reflexes T.T apparently they pressed the buzzer at the same time as the visual cue or something. the visual cue appeared at the same time as the buzzer sounding leh...

and the worst worst worst thing is that we knew the sun theory thingy! (what was the most widely accepted theory about how the sun produces energy b4 they found out it was nuclear fusion -something like that?-) qw was like isit gravity? then the answer was GRAVITATIONAL CONTRACTION. im sure if we said gravity we would have gotten a few points yikes. I think we really need to learn much more about the formulae and how to apply and stuff like that.

we were sigh so lousy. how could we even get into the finals in the first place? with third placing some more...data response must have saved us =P and since hci didn't really do the 200 mark question that must mean they are really pro in the mcq and other rounds la! not like us anyhow 混 into the finals one.

yah lah kb you're right we really did get into finals. haha so are we, rj did get into finals too! don't worry about it, RJ astro rocks! get over your disappointment soon k? you've done the best you can, and it really can't be helped. it's not really who's in the team, but more of who you're facing. it's really a lot on luck too, and not just brains. don't be too depressed over it. you guys are really pro alrd! you ppl at least put up a nice fight against the others and yeah had "keen competition"… not like us rgs. we must be the only exception that didn't put up "keen competition". we were like pass for every question, and wrong for every other. T.T

you ppl at least got a significantly high score lor! not like us 13 points only? if you are alrd so depressed then we'll have to go commit suicide alrd lah. haha yes it WAS embarrassing. BP team 2 was like laughing at us everytime we pass and when we got wrong. and they clapped and cheered everytime we got right for speed round (which made me feel really insulted, bcos we had so few right that they must cheer for us? how nice.)

oh well we have to better prepared next time. even if it is a miracle, we have to prepare for the tiniest chance…still, yay! we are pro enough to get into finals! and proer than many other teams! -hugs to bhu qw blaws gl and our juniors for supporting us!- you juniors better get into finals next year! finals ahh! I believe in you guys and you have the potential to excel and expandd! -nods-

all in all, quite a fun and interesting astrochallenge this yeah, despite all the bad feelings. it's just contradictory that you can have so much fun in the midst of boredom and embarrassment heh ^^

on a sidenote b4 I forget: CONGRATS TO CHAMPIONS OF ASTROCHALLENGE RI ONCE AGAIN! you ppl are prooo so keep on winning BP! ^^

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

les vacances!

Les vacances sont ici! Mais je ne suis pas que je peux faire...

Im totally bored out at home, watching anime and movies and stuff, generally procrastinating my homework T.T not that i really don’t want to do my work, but im totally dragged out all the time such that I have no time to ENJOY so the only time I have is to relax -.-"

Just got back my results today, just as bad as I expected. Sigh im so dead now...I hope my dad won't mind the bad results >.< I MUST WORK HARDER FOR THE LAST TERM OF THE YEAR! Esp my chem. And English! And maths I have to pull them all up no way im going to let some screwy pt and spa and compre pull it all down. HUMPH

-glares-

C'est pas mon défaut!

- cherica signs off in defeat.-

Thursday, May 24, 2007

some interesting quizzes

You Should Get a MBA (Masters of Business Administration)


You're a self starter with a drive for success.

You'd make a great entrepreneur.


Hey not bad! That’s exactly what I want! ^^

You are a PC

You're practical, thrifty, and able to do almost anything.

Appearances and trends aren't important to you. You just like to get the job done.

Ok kindof right too ^^

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic


Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.

But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.

Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

Ohno I have the exact same result as my bro!!! >.< what’s cult classic anw. T.T

Saturday, May 05, 2007

music medley!






whee i mixed this music medley thingy up. haha first attempt at it so kindof lame and all. esp the transitions super abrupt blah but nvm im happy. ^^

try and guess which songs are in there. hee =P

Friday, April 27, 2007

blahh watch my daemon change!



hee so cool ellenor is so cuteee! such a beautiful name like mine -cherica- ^^ kindof weird that ellenor is male =.=" but well yah try it! haha so cuteeee! mouseyymouse!


You are The Wheel of Fortune


Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success


The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.



i agree. im super lucky thus far (for all my superb marks from being in rgs all the way to now) and my luck is starting to fail me. WHYYY?

hence died for my sciences. i HATE spas. whatamigoingtodoforw10? imsodead. T.T -goes to a corner and cries-

Friday, April 20, 2007

WE WON!!!

today is a wonderfullest and greatest day in history, for i won my FIRST TROPHY IN MY LIFE! we won 3rd in nyp astro!!!! im totally stunned and still in disbelief >.<

it was really just luck...we guessed a lot of the answers and we just kept safe and didn't buzz in at the buzzer round at all while the other schools kept spamming the buzzer. like this bpgh actually minused 55 marks for answering qns wrongly, while ri and nus high kept answering qns correctly ending up with like 200++ points and 196 points respectively. then we rgs only answered one qn in the WHOLE buzzer round bcos we were forced to -bcos no other team knew the ans and we chose the qn- so yah blaws anyhow guessed and it was RIGHT! haha in the end rgs got 120 marks out of pure luck and guessing and a bit of strategy.

we actually knew some of the answers, just that we nv dared to press the buzzer so the other schools always pressed the buzzer first. ri is REALLY PRO u know they totally owned bp this yr WAY TO GOO!!

haha and the good thing is that we were the only girls in the final round. there were ri, nus high, vs, acsi, and bpgh, but ALL GUYS! that means us rgs are pro enough! yay blaws qw + gill you all ROCK! <333

-HUGSSSS-

THANK GOODNESS WE DID NOT MALUATE OURSELVES TOO MUCH AND OTHER GIRL TEAMS DIDN'T GET INTO FINAL ROUND INSTEAD OF US [shows that rgs not too bad after all (:]

haha our juniors are prooo! and we must really thank bpgh for answering so many qns wrongly ^^ and for not daring to spam the buzzer enough plus thank ri and nus high for spamming the buzzer so much and owning the whole round. we must really really thank nyp for having a final round + let the top 6 teams get in and not just 4! (bcos i believe rgs was 6th team) and for them not to count in the quiz scores to determine the champion teams!

only bcos of these reasons that we managed to win 3rd! behind ri (champions) and nus high (2nd)! we were really lucky and our mugging paid off! in fact it was like only 2-3 hours of mugging on my part last minute last night?

i must last of all, thank certain-unknown-person for contributing list of words such that i could mug smartly for astro and answer some quiz qns correctly, possibly contributing to us getting into final round!

WHEE IT'S A MILESTONE IN HISTORY!

im bursting with joy, literally. totally fun and unforgettable, although we were too nervous and cold and giggly and laughing at random stuff and acting really childish and uncool being first time on stage at astro competitions, it was fun! sad that we can't take part in nyp anymore. ): 10th nyp competition <3!

thanks to all who helped in one way or another hahaha...

plus nature week is finally over. can we not doooo the mosaic anymore im sick of itt.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

what's this thingy for anw

1. grab the nearest book.
2. open the book to page 123.
3. find the fifth sentence.
4. post the text of the sentence on your blog along with these instructions.

'"Perhaps he should have sprinkled his cow with stolen holy water like Farmer Dan," Grandmother said, chuckling.'

i wonder if dialogues are counted as the sentences leh heh. dunno what this is about anw just taken from blaws' blog. ^^"

Friday, April 13, 2007

friday the thirteenth

friday the thirteenth holds some significance to me. i have no idea why.

happy birthday my dearest gl!


When you were one year old, she fed you and bathed you.You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were two years old, she taught you to walk.You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were three years old, she made all your meals with love.You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were four years old, she gave you some crayons.You thanked her by colouring the dining room table.

When you were five years old, she dressed you for holidays.You thanked her by plopping into the nearest.

When you were six years old, she walked you to school.You thanked her by screaming "I'M NOT GOING!".

When you were seven years old, she bought you a baseball.You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbour's window.

When you were eight years old, she handed you an ice cream.You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were nine years old, she paid for piano lessons.You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were ten years old, she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastic to one birthday party after another.You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were eleven years old, she took you and your friends to the movies.You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were twelve years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.You thanked her by waiting till she left the house.

When you were thirteen, she suggested a haircut.You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were fourteen, she paid for a month away at summer camp.You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were fifteen, she came home from work, looking for a hug.You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were sixteen, she taught you how to drive her car.You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were seventeen, she was expecting an important call.You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were eighteen, she cried at your High School Graduation.You thanked her by staying up partying until dawn.

When you were nineteen, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus and carried your bags.You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so that you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were twenty, she asked if you were seeing anyone.You thanked her by saying "It's none of your business".

When you were twenty one, she suggested certain careers for your future.You thanked her by saying "I don't wanna be like you".

When you were twenty two, she hugged you at your college graduation.You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were twenty three, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were twenty four, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future.You thanked her by glaring and growling "Muuhh-ther, please!".

When you were twenty five, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you.You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were thirty, she called with some advice on the baby.You thanked her by telling her "Things are different now".

When you were forty, she called to remind you of a relative's birthday.You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now".

When you were fifty, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on your HEART.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

goodbye

i've decided. i'm totally sick and tired of this life. i shall end this once and for all...goodbye.

not that anyone would actually miss me. heh and i won't even have to do ss pt (that's the best). au revoir tout le monde.



in case you really think im going to jump, haha you've fallen for my trick!
HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!!!!!!! ^^"

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

meme

Your Birthdate: July 17

You tend to find yourself lucky - both in business and in life.
And while being wealthy is nice, you enjoy sharing your abundance with others.
You put your luck to good use: you are very ambitious and goal oriented.
Often times, you get over excited and take on more than you can manage.

Your strength: Your ability to make your own luck

Your weakness: Thinking you can do it all

Your power color: Bronze

Your power symbol: Half Moon

Your power month: August

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

some random quiz


My Personality
Neuroticism
84
Extraversion
30
Openness To Experience
24
Agreeableness
21
Conscientiousness
3
You are introverted, reserved, and quiet with a preference for solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends. You can be very easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be extremely sensitive and emotional. As a practical person you like to think in plain and simple terms. Others describe you as down-to-earth, practical, and conservative. People see you as tough, critical, and uncompromising and you have less concern with others' needs than with your own. You like to live for the moment and do what feels good now. Your work tends to be careless and disorganized.

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

Click here to take the most insightful personality test.

not exactly what i hope i would get, but not exactly wrong ba...?

all those who still read my blog...i wonder who does anymore. -.-"

anw say goodbye for a week...i'll be away till 15th march. i hope i won't regret my decision. >.<

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Quiz Result Provided By: theOtaku.com.



What DNAngel Guy Are You?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.


it's coming back to me.

what i wanted to say, died at my lips and tears welled up in my eyes.

forget it.

at first i was afraid to tell the truth. but i did anw. it was a bad mistake. went terribly wrong from the start...

now, thinking back, it isn't that bad. while ignorance is bliss, telling the truth is like a burden off my chest. while things get awkward for a while, at least i got my message across.

i hope.

crap.

p.s. it's got NOTHING to do with love. not that way la. =.="

Thursday, November 30, 2006

holidays so far

the hols so far have been boring and interesting. so far there's been smp extension lab attachment, going to blaws' house twice and playing card game with her + learning how to play snap -subsequently winning blaws rather easily-, wep, and nus engineering quest. oh and the canopy tree trail thing. and of course eating sleeping reading watching tv playing games. haha

nus engineering quest was fun, and uhh talked to two ppl from risc which is an amazing feat. for the sake of scitare la -glares- and blaws can't rmb why she is pissed with risc. hahaha. since she can't rmb why, she should stop being pissed with risc and start cooperating with them and treat them cordially.

canopy tree trail walk at macritchie was tiring but fun oso la. we got to see a collection of insects and scorpions of various species. -eeks- although i hate insects and are afraid of them, they are actually quite amazing and pro-looking dead and as specimens. a pity blaws wasn't there. we walked through the rough trail about 7-8km. would have been 10km if not for our luck at getting a hitch-hike on a little bus on the way out. hahaha. there were some air-rifle shots from the ns camp, but well didn't get shot. saw a lot of weird plants and animals, particularly a pair of squirrels that i suspect were mating. making very loud noises and ya in the cover of a tree, though we could still make out the shapes. =P too bad for privacy. they were right next to our trail haha.

the tree trail walk was super short as compared to the 5km walk there. like 400m? but it was dizzying and scary as i had a bit of fear of heights. i thought i was going to fall over anytime. T.T or drop something down. it was super high up. we climbed up super high from the beginning lor. up and down and up and down. had lots of lactic acid in my legs by the end. =P ya then we went to eat roti prata after that. was super full and went home "tired but happy". cliche yepp but true. ^^

bleh scitare and ssef work is piling up >.< can't imaging how sec 4 life will be.

wep was boring in a way. it was at thomson paediatric clinic. all we did was file casenotes, find casenotes, register, measure weight and sometimes length of the babies, give queue numbers, sit in several consultations, follow on several trips around the wards, watch how drips are done, and generally do odd jobs like faxing stuff, stamping names and make sets of forms. boring and easy to do actually, and interesting in a sense. then again im not a professional, that's y it's a bit boring. it's all paperwork...

still easy and dun need to use brains. several times there were misfiled casenotes and that caused everyone to go into a frenzy searching for them. sometimes they can't be found due to the sheer number of casenotes. >.< of course with us around we are forced to find them. sigh

half the time we are ignored and all we do is look and see what the nurses are doing. only one nurse was frendly and never forgot me. the others were ok la. still i have a feeling that we are causing more trouble than providing help. >.< one good thing about all those casenotes is that you get to learn about interesting names and surnames =P and of course i get to meet a lot of children and babies and proud parents. haha i got several smiles from the parents bcos i was smiling and playing with the babies, and the babies smile of course. though sometimes they cry at the pain of an injection by the nurse, but they stop very soon.

interesting fact learnt: babies love to wail and sound like crying, but somehow there aren't any tears. = they are just making the crying wails but nope, not crying at all. haha so ya they stop "crying" very easily. but of course sometimes they are really crying, hard. haha

oh and there's this sign that says: "All our staff in this clinic have been vaccinated against Flu. Have you vaccinated against Flu yet? Please approach any of our staff regarding the vaccination." and then the next minute one of the nurses started sneezing. and she sneezed about 3 times. we all couldn't help but laugh. hahaha vaccinated against flu and yet having flu? unlucky ba...haha vaccination no use. probably different strain.

not much to say alrd la. sleepover at my house this weekend for scitare action plan and ssef report. sigh la why is almost everyone overseas alrd. im going overseas at the end of dec, sometimes around christmas bcos my bro only has 4 days leave and he can use them all plus christmas hol plus hari raya hol plus new year day hol plus weekends then can make two nice weeks of leave. ya so i must finish ssef b4 then, and the forms...yikes >.<

i dun want to go to the same place againnn. my mum seems to like shan tou a lot, but we always go there!!!!!!!! and hongkong oso. i don't mind hongkong that much la, didn't go hk for 2 or 3 yrs alrd. but we went shantou just 2 yrs ago! and last yr we didn't go anywhere. sigh la my mum is so biased. the only places she like = china, hk, thailand. possibly malaysia but not like she's ever brought us there. blah.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

hols are here

hurray for the holidays are here!

eoys are over and results are out. not too bad la but i shall not reveal anymore to certain geniuses like BLAWS. and im glad that at least ONE person reads my blog ^^

and generally so far the hols have been smp and reading and sleeping and eating and watching tv and playing games and going out with my mum. which is rather boring but i don't mind the break from studies. it's quite nice too to be able to do anything i want -except the smp part- ya smp extension for ssef next year. oh well it's quite crap and everything but it can't be helped. and let me try and remember. i must remind blaws to COLLECT THE FORMS on friday. if blaws is reading it, be reminded.

hmm and today we went to the nobel prize exhibition thingy and some lecture by a nobel prize winner (professor t'hoofe or something likethat?) for physics. i don't know what he won the prize for. probably something about particles bcos he was talking about it, then he talked about black holes -my favourite!- and stuff like hawking's particles and other theories. and the probability of white holes.

haha qw and yong joo were late to they were forced to go some IT lab watch on web cam. and since the microphone is malfunctioning half the time, the volume of the professor was greatly varying. therefore they couldn't hear much hahaha. and ya qw's sources whatever they are are indeed rather reliable. oh well and for the past week i realise that during term time in nus, nus ppl eat super early, even up to 11++, and there will be LOTS of ppl from 12 to 1pm, so it is advised that you do NOT go there to eat during this period of time. im not sure about 1pm to 2pm, but i think there is a lot of ppl too. particularly seems like nus ppl lunch break is that time.

queues are super long during those times too and no tables or seats available unless u want to share with someone. T.T and i do pity those ppl clearing the trays and plates at the collection place for they have to work like robots, methodically taking plates and trays and sorting them super quickly and without rest. mmm.

i find lots of ppl doing wep during this hols. makes me feel interested in trying out working. and i actually forgot that someone worked b4. T.T and i nv knew that yongjoo went to find work at swensen's and mcdonald's. heh.

oh well this is crap. im just blogging for the sake of my beloved one and only reader-of-my-blog. under her specific and repeated request of course. ^^ so be honoured. hohoho. wishing everyone an enjoyable and fun-filled holiday. and perhaps merry christmas and happy new year in advance. =)

Monday, October 23, 2006

Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence

You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others.
Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel.
You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations.
A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict.

You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.


hmm sounds rather not bad...

exams are over.

the holidays are just round the corner.

this super duper ultra extended long weekend, many things have happened. i have decided to pick up my books again...it's been so long since i have really enjoyed myself in the world of fantasy, adventure and mystery. yepp and i went to bishan library.

it was lovely and new, and there were many ppl there. lots of books, but not enough. didn't have the variety i expected, but well, good enough i suppose. borrowed even more books for the hols. but i feel that the holidays are very empty. i always do. it's like i have nothing to do, no school, no cca, no nothing. i don't really mind it, but i miss having nothing to work towards. perhaps just reading and more reading.

i love reading.

i wanted to forget her, but i decided to stop escaping it and to face it. i guess perhaps, she wanted to forget me too, like i did. she's still the same, yet changed, perhaps. my fault? perhaps. but deep down it was everyone's fault really. u can't blame anyone exactly.

i made the right choice. i should face it and acknowledge it, and not just forget everything. this may have been a blessing in disguise, though i really want to know what the blessing is. i can think of a few, but it doesn't seem enough for this to have happened. i shall never forget this. i want and don't want to forget, but what can i do?

no. don't forget. don't ever do. if you do, you are a coward just escaping from the truth.

isn't that who i have always been?

tears.

sometimes u think tears come and go, and that's the end of that. you chuck it to the back of your mind and think about it perhaps, but no more tears. i thought that. i was wrong. once the eoys are over, once i could have my mind capacity free again from the numbing routine of study study study, i thought. i dreamt, and i thought. and tears came again.

why?

because i realise how much i hated it, how much i hated that, then how cowardly i was. there's a good side to everyone, but also a bad side. i must say that it's so easy to succumb to the bad side. to hate them. to hate her. to hate myself.

hate.

why hate? hate leads to anger, and anger just leads to more hate. isit worth it?

tell my brain to stop hating. it's impossible, impossible, impossible. when you can't stand it anymore, you just do what your eyes always do. pleurer.

i realised i can type up to 90 words per minute! im so pro right? and i actually did not too badly for french killer eoy! i couldn't believe it and i was like muttering c'est impossible as i looked down the marks for each section. and i actually passed the redaction! i didn't noe the format of letter writing, and i didn't even finish it! gosh. c'est impossible. mais c'est vrai. je suis contente.

i find myself getting more and more rebellious. due to the hate. i indeed, finally have run out of patience. told you my weakness is impatience. i couldn't tolerate it, and i burst. i exploded, and hurt everyone around me, including myself. in a way, im like a suicide bomber, who instead of achieving her goals, have ended up bombing herself only. the others are all running to safe distance and shooting at me now. hate comes to nothing i guess.

but i couldn't take it. i take different stands, different points of view, different ways of tackling it, but i got shot down all the same. sometimes it feels like a battlefield, a war that i can never win, a war that im alone in. but there's an even more vicious battle i must win before i can win anything else, and that is the battle within. it is a raging, fiery battle of which the consequences would be the loss of my sanity and mind. either way i doubt i would be able to win and conquer, perhaps till my dying day.

i find myself playing the word death much too easily. like it means nothing. yet it means everything. how can i play with such a word like that? it's awful. but i still do it. doesn't that mean im awful then?

when you are at a loss of what to do, what to do? i can only take comfort in the sole source of enjoyment i have now...my books. but even that is so easy to be taken away from. i think the problem is indeed with me. if others can tolerate and keep their mouth shut, i should continue to be able to do so. just shut up and keep quiet. being rebellious has no use, it only inflicts more harm and while they know that you have a mind of your own, it doesn't help that they hates that fact.

perhaps i should have been born stupid and ignorant. in a place where there is no competition and it's ok to be just yourself. perhaps if i never knew the existence of suffering, of enjoyment, of anything at all, i would be able to be content with what i have.

stop taking things for granted. everything you have outweighs what you don't. no that's not true. just be grateful for what you have now and stop being greedy. i can't help it i am a greedy and selfish person. not to mention lazy, impatient and has a fiery temper. i need control and tolerance.

the source of the problem leads back to decades ago. there's nothing i can do now. live on, and live my life to the happiest. i doubt i will be able to do that. i want music. indluge in music and books, and forget about the truth. forget about the world and forget about everything. but it's no use to deceive yourself.

no use.




p.s. i am not depressed or what. just been thinking loads these days. too much time to think so thinking too much i guess. it's not against the law to think right? it better not be anyway. that's y being stupid and ignorant would spare all these trouble. sometimes i just think too much into things. just call me stupid crazy and lazy. right you win, i lose. doesn't that make everyone happy? a simple word sorry solves everything, yet it's so difficult to say it. to someone who speaks it like drinking water, the word carries no meaning anymore. yet if it makes everyone happy, why not? right you win, i lose.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

about yourself

thanks to kenneth's blog (:

One. Think of 15 short bits of interesting stuff about yourself. And they've gotta be true.
Two. Come up with 5 false statements regarding yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of believability.
Three. Jumble them all up together and list them in any order.
Four. Post them on your Blog and let people guess which the five false ones are!
Five. Get 5 others to do the same.

1. I drink powdered milk, two cups a day.
2. I only realised the existence of the health booklet in p2.
3. I never had a best friend until p4.
4. It was clinically proven that I had hearing problems.
5. I love my brother.
6. I was so proud of myself because I read Lord of the Rings in pri 4.
7. I stole my friend's watch before. In fact, I stole loads of things before.
8. My first trip to anywhere in Malaysia was last year. Johor, to be exact.
9. I had the happiest birthday in my life when I was 7.
10. I love planes, I love to sit on a plane, particularly SIA.
11. I had a pet hamster when I was in pri sch.
12. I hate all seafood.
13. I only knew the existence of handphones in sec sch.
14. I am pro at chinese chess. I always win it (:
15. I wanted to go to nygh, but i changed my mind in the end.
16. I lived in Hongkong for 5 years before.
17. I had my first and deepest scar when I was 2.
18. I wear a different watch everyday.
19. If I have to choose between being frozen to death or being burnt to death, I would choose the former.
20. I thought committing suicide was crazy, but later on I didn't mind dying anymore.

so which do you think is true? comment if you want.

the 5 ppl shall be...any 5 who reads my blog and bothers to do it. see im so nice. ^^