bursting with energy and excitement!

ahhh music makes the world go round...and makes a joy very happy!

i just listened to Apink's Remember and watched their happy dance, i feel so energized and restless because of that. it's playing over and over on loop in my head, and i want to jump up and dance and sing out loud! except no i can't, i'm at work T.T

anyhow, i'm even more excited by a little surprise i've been preparing for the significant other :D unfortunately, i have to keep it to myself for another 3 freaking months. i've kept it in for 1 month alrd, but i'm bursting. i want to shout out loud and show off to the whole world how ingenious i am, and how much i love him! but no i can't. got to keep it quiet. got to keep it secret for another 3 months. mission impossible >.>

the most i can do is hint at it here, since he doesn't really read my blog, like EVER. and if he somehow does check it, it's not like he can tell what it is anyway hohoho. and serves him right for not reading my blog.

lalala. visiting texas this weekend, bought my friend her favorite gummy bear candy haribo! i'm happy :D

places to check out in west of singapore!

http://www.thesmartlocal.com/read/singapore-west

Here are 23 things to do in Singapore West side! My favorites are the Tea Party Cafe, star-gazing at Science Center and walking the old railway line.

Also, today there was an odd coincidence. I was standing behind this guy who was dressed quite casually in jeans and t-shirt at the priority access security line. Piqued my interest because he's kindof cute and he's so casually dressed, yet group 2. i looked at his bag to figure out if he's silver, gold or what status, but couldn't figure it out. his bag was quite formal though, so i figured he had some kind of professional job, but was creative/music-related maybe?

i also wondered where he was flying to, maybe my flight to denver? or maybe a flight to chicago like so many others were flying to? i wondered if he would end up sitting next to me, which would be kindof funny.

as i walked past him to get to security, he was walking my direction too. i turned out to go to the united club and he vanished. that was the last i thought of him - or so i thought.

i got on the plane later, and put my stuff up and down. then sat down. 

and lo and behold! it was the same guy who was standing in line in front of me at security! the guy i briefly wondered whether we would end up sitting next to each other! and then we DO! what are the odds of that??

he didn't seem to recognise me though, so i was wondering if i wanted to talk to him or not. in the end i did. he sneezed, i blessed him, he thanked me and then i told him i noticed him at security because he was dressed differently from us.

we launched into conversation and turned out he's deloitte. learnt a lot about his practice. interesting stuff. he's also a berkeley alumni! gobears!

life is so full of odd coincidences.

wow

saw this today, about hate and how it grows. really cool, and i would love to teach this to my children one day

https://i.imgur.com/ueJez27.jpg 

moving on, moving in

i'm feeling a little sad. i'm moving out of my current place in dc and selling casey (my car), and moving in with the bf in california. feeling a little nostalgic.

casey has been with me for 2 years and she has served me well. she's my first car, and she underwent a sex change from female to male and now back to female again (because when i bought her, she was female, but i thought of casey as a guy name so i called the car him, but now i think of him as her again...).

goodbye casey. i love you, and i'll dearly miss you. treat your new owner well, and think of me once in a while ok?

goodbye dc. you've been pretty good to me, and i'll definitely be back to visit again!



i still have another weekend here, but i am feeling detached already. and it's hard to dislike this place when now i'm finally having friends and the weather is warm and good...

i guess i'm moving on. and starting a new phase of my life soon.

milestone number 2!

hello all!

wondering what milestone number 2 is? well, milestone number 1 was when i got my first paycheck last september. milestone number 2 is ~ getting my first raise and bonus!

woots! it definitely came much faster than i thought it would, and it's because we lucked out with the financial year change to april - it means that we would have worked longer than 6 months and are eligible for the raise and bonus. we got ours pro-rated for 8 months out of 12, but it's still pretty good and a lot better than nothing. i'm really happy and enthused about this!

what shall i get my parents? what shall i get my bf? i don't even know, what should i even do with my first bonus other than save it up...

life is good and my firm is doing well, work is going great and i am really happy where i am right now. sometimes i can be happy really easily about life, and this is one of those times. :D

useful stuff

I read this article today and realised that there was a very applicable lesson to be learned here - just two days ago i failed and scolded myself repeatedly in my head and out loud at how dumb "I" was. I was then stuck in an endless cycle where "I" am dumb and the anxiety levels and depressive levels both rose sky-high.

Maybe instead of doing that, I should have addressed myself in 3rd person and thought about it objectively. thought about how I acted, reacted and then handled the whole situation, and then give "Joy" the right advice. I guess it would have been much better if "Joy i being dumb. What should she do next?" were the thoughts...

Another lesson to be learned from another article. i think my boyfriend is this kind of guy, who actively seeks network across groups, he seeks to understand as many kinds of people as possible, and he is kindof a loner. he doesn't fit in well with any particular group, so he enjoys being a drifter. meeting people who are of different groups, different cultures, backgrounds etc.

i've got to take a leaf from his book and be like that too haha. then we will be successful :D

Women, low confidence and how it impacts our careers

i've been reading articles about how women tend to have lower confidence than men, and so seem to do worse than men in getting themselves promoted etc. Confidence seems to correlate with people's perception of your competence, so it's quite important to act confident. though for us women, if we act too confident, we are penalised for being too aggressive...we are really walking a tightrope here.

Here's the article, it's kind of long though: http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/04/the-confidence-gap/359815/

Here's a shorter one if you'd rather just read this: https://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/5-common-confidence-mistakes-women-confidence-quiz-114141437--abc-news-deals.html

Here are my results for the confidence quiz here: http://theconfidencecode.com/confidence-quiz

Seems quite true, i do have low confidence and i'm constantly trying to act more confident at work. not sure if it's succeeding but i do see the importance of acting confident, and i need to really speak up more and do these things.

Low Confidence

Thank you for participating in The Confidence Code Assessment!

You are now part of one of the first research studies specifically related to women and confidence and we’re excited to work together to gather insight that will help women around the world embrace confidence in their lives.

Based on your responses to this quiz, you have lower than average confidence. 

What does that mean?

First, you are not alone. Many women, at some point in their lives, including us, find ourselves on this end of the spectrum. In general, you are more likely to feel uncertain of your opinions and of your abilities. You are probably quite risk-averse, and may be critical of what others would embrace for themselves as success.

How can you work to improve your confidence?

We believe there are a number of things you can do to start improving your confidence – here’s what we suggest:

Get focused. 

To help build your confidence, start small. Those of us who are confidence-challenged frequently feel overwhelmed. So start by deconstructing a larger challenge or assignment into smaller ones. Teasing out the individual parts of a challenge, and accomplishing even one-tenth of it, can give you a confidence boost. And just working towards a goal and taking action creates positive momentum. 

For example, if you are nervous about giving a speech at an upcoming event, break it down by setting a small goal for yourself of brainstorming for just 5 minutes a day. Once you’ve brainstormed, spend another 5 minutes a day polishing the speech. And once it’s polished, spend 5 minutes a day practicing in front of a mirror. 

Be grateful

New research shows that gratitude is one of the keys to happiness and an optimistic mindset. That mindset encourages confidence. And this demands a slight change in perception. Find gratitude in the tiny things: As someone lets you merge into traffic, notice, and be grateful, instead of just zipping ahead looking for your next maneuver. And – just say thank you when you get a compliment. Believe, and be grateful for, the kind words said about you. It will transform your mood, and simply saying, “Thank you, I appreciate that,” will also make the other person feel good.

Ban NATs

NATS man the frontlines in the assault on confidence, and they are every bit as annoying and insidious as their phonetic twin. We’re talking about negative automatic thoughts. Unfortunately, they buzz around more frequently than positive thoughts, and can multiply at lightning speed. They are thoughts such as, “That dress was too expensive, why did I waste my money?” or “I’ll never finish this project; I knew I wasn’t up to it,” that never seem to leave our brain.

The only way to get rid of NATs is by challenging them with logic. First, recognize the NAT. Then, use the 3 to 1 rule to get rid of them. For every 1 NAT – a bad thought – think of 3 good things you’ve done that day to banish the NAT. Do this every time a NAT pops into your head. “That dress looks good on me. I’ll wear it often. I needed a new one.”

If you’re struggling to come up with positive alternatives by yourself, imagine what you would tell a friend who confessed to having that same negative thought. This is putting self-compassion into action. You’ll be surprised how quickly you can trim those debilitating feelings down to size. It’s easy to do for others, yet we let them roam freely in our own brains.

Face failure

That’s right – you’re terrified of asking for a pay raise, talking to a stranger or raising your hand at a meeting. Imagine the very worst thing that could happen to you if you did. You’d be surprised at that how really, even the worst possible outcome isn’t that bad. The sky won’t fall on your head. The earth won’t swallow you whole – you will still be alive and standing. Just knowing that can help you realize the costs of failure are nearly always worth the risk that comes with trying something just outside your comfort zone. Actively identify one bite-sized risk each week you are willing to take. And tell us how it goes.

dumb me

sometimes it's good to have some failures. they keep you grounded, make you realise you have so much more to learn, and how dumb you really can be.

i've had a lot of things going well for me recently, and i think i'm getting a little complacent. gotta tone it down - i got a really outstanding performance review and have received good feedback the past couple of months, i've been told i'm really smart by these coworkers over and over and that i'm doing good work etc. really making me think i'm good.

and this week i've gotten myself invited to dinner with these much older coworkers, learnt so much from them regarding their experiences and their points of view and how they walk the political tightrope in the corporate world. one of the lady coworkers gave me really good advice - that we've got to observe and study the audience and cater to them in order to get what you want from them. for example, if someone has a super ego, you have to let them talk first, ask them for their opinion, and listen very carefully and sincerely.

i suddenly realised that the power of listening is so powerful, i should learn to use it more often and correctly with my friends, family and bf especially. i am too eager to talk and rant and get it all out and hear my own voice, when really i should be listening, observing and studying. i should also be willing to talk in a professional setting instead of being too passive. these guy coworkers i talk to - they are so aggressive and assertive, i feel the need to follow their suit. i think everyone has their own style, i'm going to sit tight and be humble and keep my eyes and mind wide open and learn as much as i can and listen. keep listening and observing.

and then i went and did something dumb, and said something thoughtlessly and really i was trying to make a joke, but it ended up sounding really racist. omg i didn't realise how insensitive i can be, growing up in singapore where we say things so bluntly and joke about each other's race/ethnicity without fear. it could just be my friends or my brother or even my bf's influence, but i realised that america is a very different country. they are super sensitive when it comes to things like race, religion, etc. we have to be careful what we say and how we say it, and whether to say it at all. we have to be careful to steer clear of stereotypes, and not fall into the trap of making racist jokes in front of colleagues (where it's not appropriate!)

now that i'm grown up and in the adult world, i can't be so insensitive anymore. i have to be smart about things, to be more prudent and tactful, to think before i speak, and think again before actually saying a word. all these jokes i want to make, i should save them for later with my friends or just throw them aside. you don't have to make them out in the open and embarrass yourself. sigh.

dumb me.

quiz of love!

i've been really interested in the quiz of love thing ever since it showed up on big bang theory, and sheldon and penny tried it out! then i read about it in an article from my bit-of-news app so i found those questions. totally going to try it out with bf when he's here :D

it's supposed to foster closeness between strangers such that two strangers can fall in love after doing this quiz and staring into each other's eyes for 4 minutes.

Here are the questions:
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

the little things in life

hello! felt bored and totally feeling like sharing thoughts, so here i am again! back to posting something just to keep my thoughts in order and make myself happy :)

i spent the past two weeks being confused about my united miles...they used to be very consistent number of miles because i always fly the same distances so the numbers should remain the same. but these two weeks my miles have gone haywire and they've been awarding me not less, but more miles each trip! and every trip has different number of miles! i was so confused and thought their system screwed up (but i'm not complaining ^^"), but i was trying to figure out if it was because of the flight class or what, but no...

until i looked at the dates:

How could the same trip in opposite directions have such different number of miles?? turns out one occurred in february, and the other occurred in march. figured it out yet?

for those who didn't know, united just updated their miles award program in march 2015, which i KNEW but TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT until this morning. seriously, sometimes i get my best epiphanies when i'm just waking up, all groggy and lying in bed and thinking about life, the universe, and united miles.

so before that, united awarded miles based on the actual number of flight miles you flew, plus bonus miles for having status, but now they changed the program so it awarded miles based on the plane fare. so base miles = 5x cost of plane ticket (excluding taxes etc), and with status you get extra multipliers, like i get bonus 2x for being united silver: total of 7x of plane fare. now i always fly the more ex flights because of the timing of flight and last minute booking, so it's around $452 one way without taxes, giving me a total of 3164 miles!! woots!

life is good. it's the little things in life :)

p.s. the wind keeps howling outside. so noisy. just because of a 35km/h wind! gah.

p.s.s. i woke up thinking about "wake me up when september ends". it's a nice song.

p.s.s.s. having fun singing chinese songs. i miss those days.

fun goings-on

just learnt that it's goings-on and not going-ons. kind of counter-intuitive hmm.

anyhow i really enjoy talking to my girl group of singaporean friends, we are all over the world right now - me in dc/denver/cali, yb in china, grace in switzerland, rachel in amsterdam, wenyu in cornell, vanessa in paris (and soon to be in nyc), and eileen and hc in singapore! so cool haha.

here's one of the random conversations they had where they were trying to name the couples...

well i guess we ended up as "soy", though i do like soy haha. i mean to eat/drink. not so sure as a couple name >.> solojoy is not bad but kindof depressing, joylomon does sound like a pokemon haha. maybe soljoy?

and i did some digging around of solomon's name, and found this!

whaa...?

that's right, and there's more here: http://www.hercampus.com/school/cmu/solomon-sia-0

HAHAHA yes he was interviewed and posted on hercampus.com as a campus cutie! what a cutie hahaha...

let it snow...

it's snowing in denver! again. it gets annoying, and it's kindof the first time i got caught in snow as a driver (i've always been just a passenger so far at my work in denver).

then my rental car kindof looks like this (it's not the actual car but it's a sample one):

so i spend 15 min alternating between getting out to scrape ice off the windshield and getting back in to squirt windshield liquid (hopefully with antifreeze) and warm my feet up. by the end of it i was quite annoyed and tried driving off before the whole thing melts off, and i realised my visibility was too low for me to drive safely so i parked again and did somemore of the scraping and melting. so annoying omg. remind me never to live in a cold place like this, snow just complicates everything!

can you imagine, living a normal life in a normal city is already tough enough, now you have to deal with cold weather, low visibility, possibility of frostbrite and snow and ice and spending 15min heating up your car engine every time you want to go somewhere for half the year??!! what a waste of my life, and it's so dangerous to be driving around with snow and ice everywhere! you can skid! another car can skid! you cannot see easily when people are running across the road in the middle of the night!

anyhow i found icicles on the car too, something like this. who would have thought?!

on a good note, we did find ourselves some canadian geese hanging around despite the snow. they somehow can dig grass up under the snow, so cool right.

also, i've just been complimented on my nice beige coat (courtesy of my mum, who sent it over alllll the way from singapore last december! thanks mummy! ^^) twice in two days! so yesterday someone complimented on my coat when i was in the elevator at my client's place, and she asked me where i got it. i replied my mum bought it for me so i'm not sure haha.

then today someone else complimented on my coat when i was in the hotel elevator! she asked if she could touch it, seems like the coat had some texture to it, and i said sure! she touched it and was amazed by the texture of it hahaha.

 both of them are white females around 30s or 40s. seems like they've got good taste haha. i wonder why people suddenly started noticing/complimenting the coat only now, when i've been wearing it since december...maybe they've gotten tired of everyone else's black coats by now so my coat stands out to them hee. and i really like the coat myself too, it's classy and beautiful. my mum has great taste in fashion!

Winter travels 2014

again it's that time of the year. I went traveling with my bf to the Middle East this time! So adventurous! I could never have done such a thing by myself or even with my friends. It's truly a thing I do because my bf gives me the strength and motivation to. However I am at my limit - I don't like traveling so adventurously, I am more interested in checking everything out once and move on. I already feel like exotic adventurous travel destinations are getting to be too much for me. I only go because it's a great way to learn about each other, but also because I want him to think I am an adventurous person like him, and that I am open minded and up for anything. I want to be that cool girl, that's why. I wonder if it's ok to show him my uncool self...will he still love me？

Anyhow we went to Jordan - wadi rum, Petra, Aqaba, amman, dead sea. So beautiful this country, such wonderful people. Really loved Petra and learnt to recalibrate distances and what we can and cannot do...even got to sneak into amman citadel because we were so up for taking the back roads, the path less traveled! We also went to Cairo, Egypt and Jerusalem, Israel. Saw so much and learnt so much about the world and myself. And about him. I am humbled by how ignorant and naive I am, and learnt the complexity of humans and countries and politics. I only hope he doesn't think me too dumb :(

On the way back to the U.S., I had a layover at Frankfurt. I fell asleep at these cool chairs in Frankfurt airport. Perfect for sleeping because my legs can be raised to chest level, which is crucial for good sleep. Anyway while sleeping at the airport with lots of ppl walking past and disturbing me -yes that was an experience in itself-, I dreamt that I went to my gate and somehow the flight became earlier but now it's going to Houston and not dc anymore!!! I was so irritated because there's no flight to dc and I can't get home. I was thinking about whether I could go Houston and stay there then fly to work directly but I don't have any work clothes and stuff humph. And I was hungry so I dreamt there was kfc, McDonald's and Carl's jr. They all sold crepes and ice creams and sprinkles (these are the unfulfilled desires in Jerusalem where we didn't get to eat crepes), so I was choosing McDonald's for its joy berries and ice cream and crepe and sprinkle combo. It's got to be a pair combo though, so I was convincing some random guy to buy the combo with me. Hmm. And they sold soup noodles too, from size medium to size xl, which was hugeeeee like half the size of the table. Odd.

Then a kid cried near me and I woke up. Decided crying is annoying and I shouldn't cry where possible. It annoys people and make you unhappy. No good. And wifi in Frankfurt airport required registering and they send a passcode to my email. No wifi how to check email!!! What a joke, it's a catch 22...

Then for my Frankfurt to dc flight, it was overbooked so they were giving out 600 dollar travel certificates for people to give up their seats. I did that since I had time, didn't need to be back in dc asap, and it's 600 yo! I got rerouted through Boston then to dc, and here begins my airport "hitchhiking" experience! It was so tiring though, going through line after line, service desk after service desk, each leg of my flight required talking to at least 3 different people about my situation, which got so repetitive and annoying so far. I originally wanted to buy food from McDonald's but it was far from my old gate. Turns out my new flight to Boston was right where McDonald's was but cannot eat...there was no time, had to run to catch the Boston flight!

And wow it's been such a long time since I'm in a two storey aircraft!!! Time to find out why Lufthansa flights are always overpriced. The food was good but there was no good movie playing on the flight :( I saw gone girl, and guess what? I was just looking it up on wiki before the flight and talking about it with Solomon haha. So I watched. I wanted to watch it with him but I couldn't resist!

Omg gone girl is so creepy and good. Lots to think about and to discuss with Solomon haha

Ok that's about it for my rant today. I'm still stranded at the airport and waiting for my flight home, but I'm becoming some kindof airport veteran now, hitchhiking from flight to flight and getting step by step to my destinatio with minimal hassle and fuss :) we got a 7 dollar meal voucher for a coffee or something, but I got myself a green tea latte and lemon poppyseed muffin. Yum!

And I just got upgraded to first class for the first time! Looking forward to it, though it's not much since the flight will be only 1.5hour and I'll be sleeping...

cute vendor

is it cheating if you fantasize about getting the attention of another guy (and having him gain romantic interest in you) while you have a bf?

possibly. does this mean i'm dissatisfied, and i crave the attention of other guys?

maybe i just want to feel loved. i just want the excitement of feeling like i still have the power to make heads turn because of the way i am.

there's this cute guy (youngish, probably only a few years older than me) in one of my vendor groups. i've worked closely with him on a few things in our project, and if i were single, i would really want to flirt with him and get his attention. he's smart, attentive, nice and very smiley. doesn't hurt that he's so good-looking and not yet married (but we don't know if he's unattached, haven't got the nerve to ask). i know this is wrong, but i feel the impulse to try and flirt a little or be nicer to him, just because we don't have a generation gap the way i do with the others, and also because we're both at the bottom of the hierarchy in our respective project teams. i feel both sorry for him and a connection with him in that sense.

still, even if i weren't attached, there might be quite some problems with us getting together since he's a vendor and i'm supposed to be impartial and representing my client. it might go against certain unspoken social rules for us to get too close hmm? maybe that's why it's so exciting, so fun. like almost breaking the rules but not quite. the sparkling possibilities that might arise because of this interaction. or nothing would happen at all.

i know i'm still level-headed enough to not do anything beyond just talking with him and getting our work done, but i still feel guilty for my slight fantasy and desire to try and attract his romantic interest. sigh. what to do when there are cute temptations around and your bf is not?

UPDATE: 1/20/15
Nothing happened (as expected). I have discussed this with my bf like right after writing this post, and we have resolved this issue quite straightforwardly. Seems like temptation is normal, and as i weigh the consequences/choices and still make the decision to love and stay with my bf, our relationship grows stronger!

great article on how to be masters of love + psychological tools

i came across this article on how to maintain a relationship long-term and keep a happy marriage. i realise it's so true! i should "turn toward" my bf/husband more and respond kindly and enthusiastically when they're looking for respect and appreciation.

i should keep this in mind, esp when i'm feeling depressed or upset and angry, and not be so mean and sharp or destructive to my bf next time.

we just celebrated our one year anniversary a week ago, i'm renewing my feelings of affection and happiness and love with him. it's quite amazing how honey-mooney i still feel even though it's been a year. wow i think it's really the cycles of kindness and generosity that is keeping this going so well - my bf is great at caring for me and showing me appreciation and kindness, which makes me want to reciprocate and this forms a virtuous circle, as he loves to say.

:D

also, i learnt about a bunch of psychological traps that go on in our everyday lives and in negotiations that we often fall into over my year of master's. but also in a bunch of books and again in the negotiation class i'm taking online on coursera. the professor recommended a checklist that we can pull out and go over regularly to make sure we are not falling into these traps when making decisions, so here it is! hope this will help me remember and help others too!

1. Mythical Fixed Pie Assumption (remember, you can expand the pie and get win-win!)
2. Anchoring (are you anchored to certain numbers? check the facts)
3. Overconfidence (aren't you being too confident? check your assumptions)
4. Framing (reframe it. think from the other person's perspective, what does he want?)
5. Availability (aren't you clamping on the first thing that comes to mind? question it)
6. Escalation (avoid the competition threat and publicity. it's all psychology. think objectively)
7. Reciprocation (are you reciprocating because they are doing good to you?)
8. Contrast Principle (it's all about comparison and contrast. does this look good only because you are comparing it to something much worse?)
9. Big-Picture Perspective: Don’t get lost in the details (oh yes the gorilla test. see the big picture man https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGQmdoK_ZfY)

especially useful in helping us reframe problems and also to get what we want in negotiations. kokoko. 

loving every bit-of-news

the moment i realised i loved bit-of-news, was when i suddenly stopped receiving it. at first i thought they had a glitch (like they did once before), so i just waited for the next day to get the bit-of-news. but nope, still no news. i really was frustrated and started googling and looking for the website and stuff, and i realised there weren't any problems. it's just me, how come?

and i realised i must really like bit-of news, if not i wouldn't be able to constantly checking for it and finding ways to get my next bit of news.

i wanted to sign up for it again to see if there were problems with the previous one, but i didn't want to receive duplicate emails...until i noticed the .edu standard signup. then i realised i must have signed up for it under my berkeley/stanford email. so i checked. and lo and behold! i signed up for it with my stanford email, which means they have finally cut me off of the stanford email as of 10/15, which was why i stopped receiving bit-of-news.

wow. with that one bit-of-news thing, i discovered two useful pieces of info:
1. i love bit-of-news.
2. stanford emails won't forward to me anymore!

why i love bit-of-news? it's a great concept for ppl like me who hate trawling through long newspapers (and getting hands dirty), and hate trawling through endless internet news that are half junk half politics. i would rather get interesting snack-bites that are things i would never find otherwise, but were just curated there for me!

they're great for posting to facebook and upping my klout score too koko :D

maximizer vs satisficer

http://online.wsj.com/articles/how-you-make-decisions-says-a-lot-about-how-happy-you-are-1412614997

I read the above article, and was struck by how seemingly schizo i might be - i am quite a maximizer when it comes to some decisions, but i am such a satisficer in others! I'm a perfectionist only in some area, and in others i'm just too lazy to scout out all the options, and just settle for whatever works. it's so odd!

Here are my scores:

1. 4             
2. 7             
3. 6             
4. 3             
5. 2             
6. 4             
7. 6             
8. 5             
9. 1             
10. 2             
11. 3             
12. 2             
13. 2             

giving a total of 47 out of 91 (13 * 7 for total score). oh i'm in the middle after all!

Seems like for the first 7 decisions I am a high maximizer, while for the important decisions I am quite a satisficer. i guess for things with low cost and time needed to evaluate my options i just do it (e.g. switching radio channels and tv channels, shopping), but for things that are important i would rather go with something i'd be happy with and not worry so much about getting the absolute best option. there would be too much to think about and ponder through, especially since i don't know that much about my options in this area! it's a lot to do with my self-confidence and what i perceive of myself...i don't think i'm in the position to find much better options for myself hmm.

argh. i think solomon is qiute a maximizer in the options that matter like jobs and careers (and movies!!), but a satisficer with things like tv or radio or shopping. yeah movies are important for him so he really follows rottentomatoes. and jobs are important, so he might go for the maximimzer option always, but maybe he'll end up unhappy? hmm we're quite the opposite aren't we? i guess that's good as you want opposites in a couple, so we can balance each other out haha.

live each day as if it was your last

i've finally started work, and has since received my first paycheck! i'm on the 5th week of work now, and i'm slowly getting used to the rhythm of it. i still feel like there's a lot more to learn though.

i just came across steve jobs' commencement speech at stanford in 2005 today, and i was truly impressed by it. You can check it out here.

His 3 main points:
- do what you love, because you cannot connect the dots looking forward. you can only connect the dots looking back, so just do what your heart says.
- do what you love, so no matter how badly you fail, you can still pick yourself back up and bounce back. if you love what you do, you will never fear failure, because there is no real failure
- do what you love, for death is always soon. "live each day as if it was your last, for someday you will be right". ask yourself if you want to live today the way you are going to, and if not, change something. so true! i can't tell if my work is what i want to be doing now, but it's not a definite no either. i know for sure i want to spend time with solomon all day, so maybe that's something i should be working towards? work can also become something i love?

i love interacting with people and helping others out and working in teams though, so i kindof like what i have so far. and earning money is not bad too :D living in hotels and taking flights is not bad, but it's not the lifestyle i would choose exactly. i feel pretty lonely and wish i could be at home sometimes, wish i could be with family and friends, or with my love. hmm.

i shall look on the bright side and gain as many miles and points as possible while working hard. so i'm working towards a future with the people i love, so i can share these miles/benefits with the people i love. muah. i love you. :D go get them!

first day at work

my first day of work! so excited, but so tired omg. still jetlaggy from ca time, so having to wake early at 7+ = 4+ ca time, didn't make it better for me. i feel awfully tired now, but still oddly pumped.

got my first business card, got to meet other new ppl. went through an entire day of training, ok, a bit boring but useful, esp when i start projects next week, i'll need to refer back.

another day of training tmr and i'll find out where i'm posted for the next week. possibly could be posted to a denver client, will look forward to finding out!

i write like cory doctorow

I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like. Analyze your writing!

have no idea who cory doctorow is, but turns out he's a blogger, sci-fi author and stuff. maybe he's the only guy who writes like without proper sentences or capital letters etc in his blogs, that's why i got this result. repeatedly.

cool.